“Swami, please speak to me…”

“Swami, please speak to me…”

Dr. Sunder Iyer, a Doctoral Research Scholar & Former Faculty, Department of Commerce, at Sri Sathya Sai Institute of Higher Learning, Prasanthi Nilayam Campus shares one of his beautiful experiences with Bhagavan.

“GOD is more truly imagined than expressed, and He exists more truly than is imagined.”

– Anonymous

Sometimes, when I begin to write about someone whom I love, great and beautiful feelings arise in my heart. However, when it comes to confining these emotions to a limited set of alphabets and words, found in a few pages of dictionaries… that becomes an impossible task. Hence on occasions when I speak or write about our Lord, I always resort to an easier means. In other words, one’s feelings and one’s relationship with his God has always been personal, and such experiences can never be revealed. But then there are always the Divine manifestations of the Lord that are perhaps the fruits of such intimate relations that can be shared. When the Lord lets the devotees experience His majestic omniscience and omnipotence, then it becomes a Leela [Divine play]. And it is these Leelas that have been a perennial source of faith and inspiration to all those who have sought shelter at His Lotus Feet.

I open the worn-out pages of my old dairies, and I dig into them to find out which of these experiences I can share with you. I cannot help but feel…

What intimate hours I once enjoyed,
How sweet their memory still.
But they have left an aching void,
That world can never fill.

February 21st, 1981… and my hand stops. As I go through this page, my mind races back through the corridors of time, and I find myself seated in the first line in the evening time, and Swami finishing His usual darshan has just taken some devotees for an interview.

It so happened that during those times I had just ventured into the Yoga path and the initial enthusiasm was in its full swing. Yogasanas, breathing exercises, postures, various practices and all such matters occupied the place of prime importance among my thoughts. Often I would indulge in fantasy… roaming in the Himalayas clad in a loin cloth perhaps… or lying next to a snow leopard… performing austerities. But as it happens to most of us, these ideas remained and vaporized within the realm of fantasy, for I soon found that somehow the monthly special lunch bell had the power to penetrate through the deepest of my Samadhis and I would invariably be the first in the line, waiting at the dining hall.

But, nevertheless, in the years that followed I have kept on, and despite all my shortcomings, Sai has always seen me through these. The experience I am going to relate is of my one such occasion, when He let out His hand for me to grasp, as if saying, “Come on, you have a long way to go.”

And I am a seasoned seed
From Your own stores
My growing up, therefore,
Is Your responsibility.

Swami had come a few days earlier to our hostel and pleased us with His Divine discourse. One of the points that caught my attention was that of the chanting of ‘Soham’ Mantra. Swami explained and demonstrated how this sacred Mantra can be chanted through regulation of breath. Immediately, resolutions were passed in mind (which is not a very uncommon feature for those of my category) and I decided to practice it for the rest of my life.

this mantra [formula] as and when possible. As each day had passed and as evening drew near, my heart would bloom with expectancy, perhaps Swami would acknowledge my ‘sincere’ practice, speak a word to me, or give me a Namaskar. The first day passed without even as so much of a glance, but I was not deterred. I went on more firmly. But, somehow, when on the second day Swami passed by me without as so much of a glance, my spirits were down in the dumps. Nevertheless, a ray of hope still hung in the frail cobwebs of mind, for the next day our class was going first in the line.

So, the evening of this third day found me sitting in the first line in the portico. The sun was just setting for his nightly intermission, and even as his golden rays bathed all of us not merely in light, but also in quite uncomfortable warmth, my mind was going on “Soham… Soham…”

Finally, the door opened and the usual hush passed over the atmosphere. All attention was on the door, expectancy accompanied by eager eyes and prayerful hands. My already upright position became more upright as He came closer. “Swami”, my mind uttered softly but in all vanity. “Swami, here I am looking at You… speak to me.” Swami passed by me, spoke to a boy next to me, smiled, patted him, and went on.

He finished His usual round of darshan and came back. By then, the portico was full of devotees who had been chosen for interview. I knew now that the probability was nil. As He passed by me once again, the soft uttering of my mind now gave way to ferocious yelling (fortunately all this was within). “Swami,” I screamed within my mind, “I have done what You advised, for three days now, and there has been no response from You.” But He heard me not and the few more seconds that passed were filled with an unforgettable war between prayer and despair.

As leisurely as ever, Swami motioned the devotees inside, and with a last look that went above my head, a smile to my partner. He closed the door and the floodgates holding my tears opened. My upright position now became low, and I was busy fighting my tears lest somebody should see.

Most of the shadows of life are
caused by standing in one’s own sunshine.

All my hopes were shattered; the fruit that my ego so eagerly sought was now beyond my reach. Even the innermost hidden desire to tell my friends how Swami had responded to my spiritual sadhana lay bare. I was thus vainly trying to hide the nakedness of my spirit in a few drops of tears, perhaps those of anguish, humility, and repentance.

It is not a matter of respect or otherwise that He is called the God of Love. It is an experience of everybody who knows Him, who has been with Him, and who has tasted His nectarine Love. Hardly a few minutes had passed, when Swami opened the interview room door and came out. He was standing right in front, with His back toward me, watching the ladies go in. My mind was calm by then, and drying up my tears, I let out my hand to touch His Lotus Feet. And then it happened.

When He was about to go, Swami turned toward me, He had probably materialized some Vibhuti [sacred ash] inside, so His fingertips were still full of them. Within a flash of a second, He took a step, and as I looked up at Him, His beautiful face broke into a smile. Eyes pouring out Love, He looked into me, and saying, “Pichi (mad)?” He let His thumb press my forehead (the place between the eyebrows) and rubbed in the Vibhuti that was still there.

No soul can forever be banned,
Eternally bereft,
Whosoever falls from God’s right hand,
Is caught into the left.

The page in the diary ends here, and as I slowly close it, I make up my mind.

Swami, please speak to me – A Prayer From the Heart

Swami, please speak to me is not only a sentence of longing; it is the cry of a heart that wants guidance, comfort, and nearness. Many devotees feel this prayer rising within them during moments of silence, difficulty, confusion, or deep love. It is the voice of a soul that knows the world can give advice, but only the Divine can give true peace.

There are times when life becomes noisy outside and restless inside. People may surround us, yet we may still feel alone. We may smile, work, speak, and perform our duties, but the heart quietly waits for one word of assurance. In such moments, the prayer Swami, please speak to me becomes a bridge between human weakness and divine strength.

The beauty of this prayer lies in its simplicity. It does not demand miracles, wealth, position, or praise. It only asks for the living touch of divine guidance. A devotee who prays like this is not always asking to hear a physical voice. Sometimes he is asking for a sign, a feeling, a thought, a dream, or a sudden clarity that removes darkness from the mind.

Swami’s voice may not always come in the way we expect. It may come through conscience when we are about to make a wrong choice. It may come through a line from a book, a bhajan heard at the right moment, a kind word from someone, or a quiet strength that appears when we thought we could not continue. Divine communication is subtle, but it is never absent.

Swami, please speak to me is also a call to become silent enough to listen. Many times, the problem is not that God is silent; the problem is that our mind is too crowded. Desires, fears, complaints, and expectations create inner noise. When the mind becomes calm through prayer, patience, and surrender, the heart begins to recognize the gentle language of grace.

A true devotee slowly learns that Swami’s message is already present in His teachings. He has spoken about love, truth, peace, right conduct, non-violence, selfless service, and faith. Whenever we feel lost, we can ask whether our thoughts and actions are moving toward these values. If they are, we are walking closer to Him. If they are not, His guidance is lovingly asking us to change.

The prayer Swami, please speak to me becomes more powerful when it is joined with sincerity. We cannot ask for divine guidance and then ignore it when it challenges our ego. Sometimes the answer may ask us to forgive, apologize, wait, serve, give up a bad habit, or accept a painful truth. Divine speech heals, but it also purifies.

Many devotees experience Swami’s presence most clearly during pain. When everything is comfortable, the mind may become busy with the world. But when difficulties arise, the heart turns inward. Tears can become prayer, and helplessness can become surrender. At such times, even silence may feel like an answer because it carries an unseen assurance that we are not alone.

This prayer is therefore not a prayer of doubt, but a prayer of relationship. It shows that the devotee feels close enough to speak honestly. The Divine does not reject such openness. A child can cry before the mother without fear. In the same way, a devotee can place confusion, weakness, longing, and love at Swami’s feet.

Still, listening to Swami requires purity in daily life. If our speech hurts others, if our actions are selfish, if our mind is filled with jealousy and pride, we may not hear the inner guidance clearly. A clean heart becomes the best receiver of divine wisdom. Kindness, discipline, gratitude, and service make the heart sensitive to His presence.

Swami, please speak to me can be practiced as a daily inner prayer. Before making decisions, before reacting in anger, before giving up hope, and before beginning important work, one can pause and remember Him. This simple remembrance changes the quality of action. It brings humility and removes the feeling that we are doing everything alone.

The answer may come as peace rather than words. It may come as courage rather than explanation. It may come as patience rather than immediate solution. Swami knows what the devotee truly needs. Human beings often ask for relief, but the Divine gives strength, wisdom, and transformation.

In the end, Swami, please speak to me is a sacred invitation to listen with the heart. The Lord speaks through love, conscience, scripture, service, silence, and the quiet movements of life. When we live with faith and purity, every moment can become a message. The devotee then realizes that Swami was never far away. He was speaking all along, softly, lovingly, and constantly from within.

Experiencing Him Within…